It's been one week since I left Africa with my CU crew and headed back to our lives here in the States...I am so, so glad to be back home with my wife and my kids...and if I am honest, to eat a little Qdoba and watch Baseball Tonight and to not be in charge of a big overseas trip...
But once again I feel a little out of sorts and out of place after 2 weeks in Zambia...per my usual bumbling self, I was a little tired and surly and short with Ingrid because I never feel capable of sharing the stories and reflections in a way that will communicate what I've seen and experienced without sounding better than everyone here and condemning the life I myself live with those closest to me...
We took a friend down to East Grand Rapids for ice cream on a night filled with people on a main road literally called Wealthy Street...and I saw a big new oversized SUV with the license plate that said STILL BLESSED parked as I licked my ice cream cone and I wanted to plaster the car with photos we had taken of those impacted by disease and poverty who still feel blessed and share the blessings of Jesus in remarkable ways despite not having a house as big as the car in front of me...
And I've been getting little email messages and facebook comments from my fellow travelers about how they actually did want to go back...because being here caused them to be frustrated with friends and family members and people all around them...and they are still so uncertain what they are supposed to do now that they have seen what life is like up close for those in great need...
In many ways, I hate the re-entry phase because there typically are not quick and easy answers that pop up...you emotionally feel ready to do something, but going back into life causes you to have to wait and see if you have really been transformed, what is really different about how you will see the world, use your resources, and love others as you felt loved on the other side of the world...
We talked often this trip about feeling such tension...the tension that hasn't gone away yet after being home jsut one week from the trip of a lifetime...and the tension that needs to stay present to move us to long term action, passionate advocacy, and a new life we believe we have to live in response to what God showed us in Africa...
I will feel a bit more settled one week from today...I just hope I haven't moved away from the things I committed to do in response to Zambia...that's the most challenging part of this whole experience perhaps...and what I need God's Spirit to help me do in community in 2012 and beyond...
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